06 MayTCF’s Walk to Remember

The Compassionate Friends Walk to Remember® is a highlight of every TCF National Conference. It was created as a symbolic way to show the love we carry for the children we mourn. Held at 8 a.m. Sunday on the final day of the national conference (July 17, 2011) it starts at the host hotel of the conference.  There is an air of excitement and anticipation as  everyone gathers in preparation for the start of the Walk. Finally the Walk begins and people walk hand- in-hand meditating on a much different time in their lives. Since its inception in 2000, the Walk to Remember has taken on many distinctive facets. There is the main Walk to Remember where those attending the conference join with local bereaved families and others who fly in from across the country just for the Walk.  As many as 1400 have participated. Some go the full distance while others only walk a short way knowing that in participating, they are remembering. Special Walk to Remember T-shirts are given to all who register, as well as walk bibs where the names of the children being remembered can be written.

In conjunction with the main walk, we encourage people across the country to send in the names of the children for whom they grieve to be carried in the walk. These are printed on 8 1/2″ X 11″ sheets of paper, placed in sheet protectors and carried by volunteers. Last year, more than 15,000 names are estimated to have been carried by those participating in the Walk to Remember.  Read more…

 

05 MayStill Life 365

still life 365 is a unique art project for, about and by mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. still life 365 posts a piece of art every day by a poet, artist, photographer, crafter, musician, collagist, paper artist, filmmaker, painter, sculptor, fabric artist and ordinary person exploring grief through creativity. each piece is an expression of grief, survival, sadness, love and hope. still life 365 is intended to be a safe space for creative expression. still life 365 is open to anyone affected by pregnancy loss not simply parents.  Read more…

05 MayA Blog for Fathers When a Baby Dies

Blog author, Tim Nelson writes…”My wife, Monica, and I suffered the full-term stillbirth of our second child, Kathleen. While that was a number of years ago, I have stayed connected to the issue through my writing and speaking on the topic of father’s grief following the death of an infant. I, like many men, had trouble talking about my feelings after my daughter’s death. I’m hoping this blog might be a place for dads to share their thoughts about what they are experiencing and find support from other dads.”  Read more…

04 MayHow a Fortune Cookie Can Heal Grief

Did you ever think that a fortune cookie could offer a profound message of comfort, happiness, and peace in a life stressed by grief?  As one of the authors, Nan uses the simple fortune cookie to weave a modern parable of life and teach the value of attitude and choice in grief work. The fortune cookie demonstrates the concept of HOPE.

Sometimes we are so consumed by our grief that we fail to recognize hope happening in our lives and waiting to be discovered. This book teaches us not to dismiss the small acts of kindness that help us accept that though life may not be the same, it can be good again. Discover what you might be missing! Nan challenged individuals to participate in a project using the fortune cookie as the “tool.” The project offered Twelve Gifts of Hope that the bereaved can either receive from others or give to themselves. This book documents the proven results. Each of the Twelve Gifts of Hope is outlined in detail with suggestions that will appeal to everyone as they discover the power to heal their own grief.

To learn more, click here.

 

02 MayFor Our Mothers

Below is a poem written by Angie M. Yingst for Carly Marie Project Heal.  The poem is to celebrate ALL mothers, including those who are without their children.

 

Though I lose my petals

I am still a flower.

 

We grow together,

in a garden bed

of ash and tears,

heartbreak and love.

Whispered support blows

towards our delicate beauty,

crying nourishes our shared roots,

and the warmth of our compassion

heals the winter of our grief.

 

Though we have lost a petal,

we are still flowers,

lush and full together

in a garden of hope.

28 AprAbiding Hope Collages

From the Abiding Hope Collage artist…

“When a baby leaves this earth, there will never be any new photos to add to a scrapbook or any new milestones to frame. The keepsakes the parents and loved ones may have are few and dearly treasured. By creating these collages, it is my hope to be able to create a treasured keepsake and help the family tell their child’s story.”

To request a Hope collage, click here…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28 AprSeven Most Common Miscarriage Causes

Early pregnancy loss is so common that many obstetricians consider these miscarriages a normal part of reproduction. That doesn’t make the loss any easier. Learn about the seven most common miscarriage causes, and how to increase your chances for a healthy pregnancy.

A few months after my first child was born, I wanted to be pregnant again—as soon as possible. I wanted my children to be close in age, the closer the better, and when my son was 13 months old, I got my wish and discovered I was pregnant.

But before I even had a chance to share the news with my husband (he was traveling out of the country), I miscarried. I was only five weeks pregnant. Truth be told if we hadn’t been trying to conceive, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed that my period was late—and so I was surprised by how sharply I felt the loss. My obstetrician’s observations that I was in good company—that around 15 percent of “known” pregnancies (i.e., pregnancies confirmed with a test), and up to half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first trimester—didn’t soothe my sadness. Nor did his assurance that the miscarriage wasn’t caused by something I had done, or hadn’t done, that it was “just one of those things.” But I was comforted when I considered the other statistic: that most of the time miscarriage is a one-time occurrence.

If you have had a miscarriage, chances are you want to know what caused it, and what you can do to prevent it from happening again. For starters, relax. “Since you got pregnant once, the odds are 80 percent that you will go on to have a healthy baby, and as many healthy babies after that as you want,” says Henry Lerner, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Harvard Medical School and author of Miscarriage: Why it Happens and How Best to Reduce Your Risks (Perseus Book Group, 2003). Next, accept that you may never know why you miscarried. “The majority of the time miscarriage is a random, isolated event and we can’t pinpoint a cause,” he says. Women who go on to have two or three miscarriages (called recurrent miscarriage) may ultimately learn they have a medical problem that is causing their pregnancies to end spontaneously, but even with recurrent miscarriage, half the time there is no known cause.  Read more…

27 AprOur Journey

This Personal Story of HOPE was written by HOPE members, Christine and Ernie Boudreau.  The edited version was published in the Spring 2011 New HOPE Newsletter.  The version below is unedited.  It reflects Christine and Ernie’s journey in memory of their daughter, Dakota Catherine Boudreau.

Our journey started in October 2002 shortly after we got married.  We always knew and talked about having a family and wanted to start right away.  We never thought that it wouldn’t happen right away for us.  So month after month of trying with no success, we decided to seek help.  My doctor referred me to Fertility Center of New England. We both underwent a variety of tests and after all the testing with no conclusive results, it was suggested by the doctor that because of our age we should try invitro fertilization. We had no idea how much this would take a toll on my mind & body.   We went into it with full force and a positive attitude because we wanted this more than anything.  As we went through all the motions, we never told any of our friends and family about our fertility journey.  It just seemed easier to keep it to ourselves than to be constantly asked how things were going or where you are in your cycle etc.   The first cycle took about two months from start to finish.   Having to receive shots every day and going to the clinic three times a week to have blood drawn, plus we were at their mercy.  We were ok with this because we were going to get pregnant and have a baby and that’s all that really mattered to us. Oh… and I think Ernie actually took pleasure in giving me my shots. And let me tell you going through a cycle means you can never plan ahead, it runs your life. There’s no vacations, no weddings, parties etc. But again it was worth all the pain and suffering because we were going to have a baby. And as luck would have it we got pregnant on our first cycle.

We were so extremely excited that we started telling our friends and family when I was only 8 weeks pregnant. Shortly thereafter Ernie went down to Florida to visit his brother John.  While I was at home one day I received a wonderful surprise. Ernie had sent me two dozen red roses and a card that read congratulations MOM!!…..Love DAD. This was a major highlight in my life because at that moment I realized I was finally going to be a MOM.

This was turning out to be a perfect pregnancy; I never even had morning sickness or any other symptom that makes us women miserable except for our husbands, they really have no idea!!  Before we knew it the 16 week ultrasound was here. That’s the day we found out I was having a girl and we had her name already picked out.  We named her Dakota Catherine Boudreau named after my mom who passed away in 1991.  From that day on we called her by name.  She was a huge part of our lives long before she was even born. As the weeks progressed we bonded with Dakota, reading and talking to her.  Ernie used to take a flashlight and shine it into my belly just to make Dakota kick.  I think it pissed her off but we laughed about it anyways and boy was she a kicker and a mover especially when she heard her daddy’s voice.   She always seemed to always know when Ernie was in the room and when he whistled into my belly she would kick & roll like crazy. I think that drove her nuts too. I think back and I really enjoyed being pregnant.  It was kind of fun. Read more…

 

27 AprIt’s in the Mail!

The 2011 New HOPE Newsletter has been printed and will be mailed this week. Be on the lookout!

27 AprBaby Loss and Healing

The purpose of Baby Loss and Healing is to bring support and information to families going through the loss of a baby, whether through chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.  This site provides support through forums, chats, personal stories, and education.  Click here to learn more…


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